Grateful

Lately I've been thinking about who I want to be. Sometimes I get so consumed by looking at other people's facebook or instagram and wishing my life was as perfect as theirs seemed. Keyword: seemed. I think it's important to remember that people don't usually post their worst moments in life. They don't advertise their flaws or their times of self doubt, depression, weakness, etc. I know I certainly don't. So why do we get so consumed wishing our life was like somebody else's?

Technology is such a wonderful thing, but sometimes I think, especially in our culture, that it can also be extremely detrimental. We're able to keep in touch with friends and family from all over the world. We're able to stream the news, music, and just about anything else instantly. We can keep tabs on products that are just coming out or people that we idolize and movie stars. But with all that, I think we start to compare ourselves to other people. We start thinking, well they have this and that, why don't I? 

I was listening to pandora while writing a paper for school when Square Pegs by Kelsea Ballerini came on. I had never heard it before. I was kind of feeling sorry for myself cause we have to work full time and go to school full time. I see Jackson for maybe an hour or two a day, if we're lucky. And sometimes it feels like it's never going to end. And for some reason I've been looking at those people who do things like It works or Mary Kay and make a bunch of money in a couple years so that they don't have to work normal jobs. The get rich quick scheme is intriguing. Everyone wants to make a bunch of money and be able to spend time with their loved ones. Then this song came on and the line, "So who do you wanna be?" made me think. Do I want to be that person that wastes my life comparing myself to other people? I don't want to look back on my life in 50 years and only remember how much I compared myself to others and made myself feel bad. I want to remember how much fun I had, regardless of how much money we had. I want to make the most of the time that we do have together and create lasting memories. I want to laugh and adventure with my handsome husband. 

So who I want to be? I want to be proud of who I am and where I'm at in life. I'm proud that I'm working at and doing school and work full time. I'm proud that Jackson and I have been able to buy a house. I have the most amazing family who would do anything for me. We laugh, we're stupid, and I couldn't have gotten a better family. I grew up with the most amazing parents, who supported me with what I wanted to do. They taught me wrong from right and encouraged me to be the best that I could be. Comparing myself to others, isn't be the best me I could be. 
I have the best siblings. Sometimes I want to beat them up, but I wouldn't trade them for the world. I know that if I needed anything, they would come help me. We had a great life growing up together and I love the relationship that I have with them still. I'm grateful that they've found spouses that are good for them, minus Shannon (you know, cause she ain't married yet! <3) I'm grateful for the memories I have made with them and will continue to make with them. 
I have the most amazing husband, who would do anything for me. He is always supportive, loving, kind, patient, sweet, and he keeps me in line. He encourages me to be the best me and reminds me why our lives are so crazy right now. He reminds me that it will be worth it in the end. He encourages me to keep going when I get upset with school and studying. He is so patient with me. I couldn't have gotten a better husband. I'm constantly thanking Heavenly Father that Jackson chose me. And that he continues to choose me everyday. 
I'm proud to be in nursing school and working towards my dreams. I'm grateful that I was accepted and that I have the opportunity to achieve my dreams. And more importantly, I'm grateful to achieve my dreams with Jackson by my side. I couldn't imagine my life without him. 
I'm grateful that I have the cutest dog ever. I love that she keeps me company when Jackson is at work and that she has energy. I love taking her to the dog park and taking her on walks. I love how excited she gets when I come home. She sits by the window in the living room with her tail wagging when I walk up to the front door. I love how excited she gets to play tug of war and fetch. I love watching Jackson play with her. I love when she's in the cuddle mood and just lays with me. 
I'm grateful that I was able to be sealed to my sweetheart for time and all eternity. I'm grateful for the knowledge that I get to be with him forever. I wouldn't want it any other way. I'm grateful for the atonement and for the opportunity I have to be forgiven. I love when I'm able to take the sacrament, which unfortunately isn't every week due to having to work weekends. I'm grateful that my parents raised me in the gospel with this knowledge. 

I don't even know if this post makes any sense. But it helped me clear my head and remember what's important to me. It's helped me remember to be grateful for what I do have. I know that I've talked about how detrimental social media can be sometimes. But for some reason, it's something that I continue to struggle with. And I think it's something that a lot of people struggle with. So it's important to remember to be grateful for what we have. I think it puts things in perspective when we count our blessings and realize what we do have.